No other month is as challenging and as frustrating as February is. I still have an impression that February disappeared into thin air leaving me unproductive and dissatisfied with myself. I was just about to start complaining about how I didn’t do anything noteworthy when I remembered that I actually did a few things.
I’ve been working on my photographic portfolio since November last year. I did photo shoots nearly every weekend, spent a lot of time learning about post-production and finding and establishing my own style. This part of the whole photographic journey was extremely rewarding, because I was enjoying every minute of it and also noticed a quick progress. A side effect to building my portfolio and taking different photographs than until now was reaching to emotions I didn’t know I was capable of. February was going to be the month when I publish the fruits of my work.
If you’re curious what I am up to now, you can follow my new fan page and Instagram. It’s different than Floating My Boat, but still very mine.
Just before going live with my portfolio, I suddenly lost all my power. I was looking at the website which I set up myself and noticing more and more things that had to be improved. It was overwhelming. Pushing the bad thoughts aside, I hit the “publish” button on Facebook and invited all of my friends to like it. I published first photographs and was surprised by the response. A lot of people sent me private messages wishing me luck with the new project. I even heard that someone “admires” me for what I do. I felt awkward because I was constantly feeling I am not doing enough. I fell into the trap described by one of my favourite lifestyle bloggers, Angelika from A Dreamer’s Life (it’s in Polish).
When I was figuring out how to approach this whole wedding/family/portrait photography thing, I developed a few rules that I don’t want to break. First and foremost, do only those jobs that I believe in. Make no compromises. And that’s how I turned down an offer from a couple I felt no chemistry with (and it clashed with Woodstock, the festival I want to attend this year). Another time, someone turned down my offer because I was too expensive (I was not, trust me). I have no idea where this will take me, but I still believe my determination will kick off the way I want.
How to be assertive?
Working with clients, working for your own benefit rather than under safe wings of a company, demands from me being assertive way more than in any other office situation I have ever experienced. I am learning to say no without providing too much explanation. I am taking utmost care to see the client has read and UNDERSTOOD the agreement s/he is sighing with me. I read about copyright law a lot. It’s not easy, it’s necessary. Regardless of what comes out of my photography, this is going to be a very important lesson. The stress and tension I endured in February was a valuable lesson yet very unpleasant.
Najbardziej rozwalone 4 dni w tym miesiącu. Dwa dni pakowania, dwa dni rozpakowywania. Kolejne pięć meblowania, przenoszenia, wywalania i uczenia się gdzie co jest w nowym mieszkaniu. Ta przeprowadzka zmusiła mnie do przejrzenia zawartości szafy, radykalnego pozbycia się większości ubrań jakie miałam, wydania książek do regałów miejskich i wywalenia innych bzdet. To jeszcze nie koniec, te rzeczy mnie przytłoczyły i jedynym sensownym wyjściem na ten moment jest dla mnie ubraniowo-przedmiotowy minimalizm. Jeżeli znasz jakieś dobre źródło jak się za to wszystko zabrać, to podziel się w komentarzu. Szczególnie odnośnie planowania garderoby niemal od zera.
The most disorganised four days in February. Two days of packing, two days of unpacking, another five of figuring out what should be where in the new flat. This move forced me to make a review of my wardrobe and be radical in throwing things out. I got rid of the majority of my clothes, gave away a lot of books, threw out things I don’t feel any connection with. It’s not the end yet. All those things gathered in the past years suffocated me and the only reasonable solution seems to try minimalism. If you know some reliable source about that, please share in the comments. Especially about creating a wardrobe virtually from scratch.
The worst thing that happened this month was skipping the gym and having no time at one point to prepare my own meals. The first visit to my gym after a month break wasn’t too pleasant.
So, that was my February. On one hand, it wasn’t kind to me. On the other hand, in all this hype and lack of time, I felt the support of friends and also of acquaintances I would not expect. That’s very important, so thank you.
Z rozbawieniem przyjmuję do wiadomości fakt, że podróże w pojedynkę nie stanowią dla mnie większego wyzwania, a budowanie własnej drogi od zera w fotografii komercyjnej – tak. Już dawno nie byłam tak daleko od własnej strefy komfortu. Czy się opłacało napiszę za kilka miesięcy.